Our Journey to a Budget-Friendly Second Wedding
When Dudley asked me to marry him, I started thinking about what that would look like. In all honesty, I started long before that.
My previous wedding was very traditional with the white frilly dress, chapel, huge reception…but at 63, what do we want, and how can we make it special to us and our blended families?
After searching park-like settings and meeting with caterers, we realized that we did not want to spend a fortune on a wedding.
The important thing to us was to join hands in front of the people we love most in the world and profess our love for eternity.
Then, say good-bye to all and jump on a plane and head to Guatemala for our honeymoon.
We started to realize that paying for a location and a caterer came with numerous costs. The questions seemed to be endless. Eco-friendly or paper, they set up or we do, alcohol or no alcohol, (stupid question!) caterers serve or self serve… And, with each answer, the price kept going higher and higher.
There had to be a better way!!
On our second date, we had Sunday Brunch at the Baltimore Museum of Art’s restaurant, Gertrude’s. It is renowned as one of the best restaurants in Baltimore and within walking distance of our home.
It was a lovely day, and we noticed some people milling about outside in the Sculpture Garden. That is not unusual, but they were gathering around a couple. We realized that it was a wedding. We both talked about what a lovely place to get married.
So, after an exhaustive search for a caterer, we discussed calling Gertrude’s. We both thought it was likely cost prohibitive, but so was everything else.
We decided that the brunch was likely the least expensive option and they have such a fabulous brunch menu, that we would have them price that option for us. Brunch also means less alcohol costs.
After meeting with them to finalize the pricing, we were amazed at how much money we were saving. So Gertrude’s it is!
Finally, we found the venue, menu decided and cost within the budget!!
Check!! Now, one decision made!!!
Next on the list…a dress!
We decided that we wanted to go casual. Well, not totally casual, but Dudley would wear tan pants with a white button-down shirt. I wanted something that was unique and fit into my Boho style, but slightly conservative. I looked for months, and nothing worked.
I went online and searched everywhere for ideas. I was shocked. I thought that every answer was at my fingertips.
I was on my own.
Then, I happened across a crochet skirt, off white, floor length on a sale rack for $5. I bought it thinking that all I had to do was to find a top.
I looked for another couple of months and I just couldn’t find the right one. So, I went on eBay to see if I could find another skirt to match and I would make a top.
Bingo! I found it and had to pay $45 for it, but I desperate. And really, I’m complaining about $45??
So, check! Another decision made!
Next, flowers.
During the planning of the wedding, one thing became very clear. We had a unique situation… wonderful children that have known each other for most of their lives and we needed to honor that.
If you read “About Us”, then you already know that our children have known each other since elementary school, so how do we give them the sense that we are now family?
We designed what we called our bouquet ceremony. I would not carry flowers, but ask each of our children, Dudley has 4 and I have 2, and Dudley’s 9 grandchildren, to bring one flower, their favorite.
Flowers…check!
Now Honeymoon
How do you decide where in the world to go? Literally!
We knew, like everything else, we wanted it to be unique. We also wanted it to be relaxing. At the time, we were restoring our home, planning a wedding and working full time. We needed a rest. So, all big city vacations were crossed off the list.
Finally, I decided to go to Groupon. We have used them in the past with success and this would help us to narrow down our choices.
It didn’t take too long before I found it!! Laguna Lodge Eco Resort and Nature Reserve. Now, I know what you are thinking, compostable toilets, mosquitos, shared kitchen…
Laguna Lodge is amazing. Only 7 suites, on one of the 10 most beautiful lakes in the world, an amazing organic, plant-based restaurant that grows its own food and coffee! The lodge is handcrafted by local artist from local material. Stunning!! We couldn’t wait!
Lastly, the ceremony.
One thing we knew for sure, was that it must be short, very short. We looked into local celebrants and found one that matched our personalities. So, we made an appointment to meet with her.
We sat in her kitchen and discussed options to customize our vows. As we were sitting there, I noticed something on the wall that said Don Adams. Yes, it turns out it is The Don Adams and she is Maxwell Smart’s daughter! For those of you that are younger, he was on the show, Get Smart, which ran from 1965 -1970.
We knew she was the perfect match for us.
Check!
The day of the wedding was perfect. It was sunny and in the 70s. Last fear dispelled. Gertrude’s did offer a marquee if needed, but there is nothing better than perfect weather for a wedding.
Early in the ceremony, each of the children were asked to bring their flower to me. One of my sons was first, and he gave me a big hug, so all of the others did the same. It brought tears to everyone’s eyes.
At the end, my other son brought the last flower and Dudley tied a ribbon around the bouquet to signify that we were now united as a family.
It was the highlight of the wedding and is still talked about years later.
In honor of those who were no longer with us, pictures were placed on a table. Both of our fathers had passed, and one of Dudley’s brothers, but we were very lucky to still have our mothers, who were both able to attend.
There was so much love and joy in the air. We know, that for us, it was perfect!
A few hours later, we were whisked away to the airport and on our way to Guatemala.
This may seem like it cost a fortune, but it did not.
What I have learned from planning our wedding:
- Know exactly what you want, but be flexible with the fine details. Make it personal to you!
- Leave no stone unturned when it comes to venues. What you think may be too expensive, may not be.
- Research honeymoon locations through discount sources, such as Groupon. Or, look into Airbnb, VRBO and other options. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box.
- A brunch reception is the ideal way to save money. This allowed us to have a very beautiful ceremony and reception at one of the area’s most elegant restaurants.
I hope that this has helped you to think about options that you had not considered. Don’t sacrifice your dream wedding, just investigate other ways to make it work.
Wishing you all the best!!
